I never wrote this, trust me.

So for all of you wondering I'm back and better than ever. My batteries just got charged last night and I'm ready to take on the world. I don't know what the last 24 hours has meant to me yet but I'll tell you one thing, I love da punani. Mez well rested hafta a nice night wit me julie. If anything I can hope that this provides the motivation I've been waiting for to get my shit together. Strange that I need someone else around to make me realize I need to do that but whatevuh. ROllerderby was awesome and my brownies kicked ass! Holy Rollers are the best team out there. Bar none. I will soon be fighting my former friend Ivan to the death for Mary Jane's honor (as well as other things). I'm shaken and confused and happy. Awesome like a hot dog!