this one sticks

So I am settling into the swing of school hopefully as soon as I get all my books. My car was broken and is now partially fixed $400 down $1100 to go before my car is good again. Damn! Anyway, pops and kelly are coming into town this weekend and that can be good but I have to tip toe around alot of stuff to avoid a break down between dad and I. I feel an epiphany coming on soon and I hope it's a good one. I am at a point where I need to finish getting my shit together physically and emotionally and I have some help with that now. I realized that even though I thought I was better and over the whole Armageddon of my life that happened 2 years ago, I have been hiding from myself behind the beer and the weed. I still am not comfortable with myself nor do I like myself all that much, still. I need to feel worthy of myself before I commit to anyone else. So my old slogan is coming back into play. "I'm picking up where I never should have left off." I am kinda excited about how all this is gonna turn out. Right now I just need to organize and not self-medicate so much. Michelle, if you read these at all...thanks for ruining my life 2 years ago because...,"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." Tyler’s words coming out of my mouth...and I used to be such a nice guy.