Ch-ch-cherry

I'm slowly getting pulled onto the intertubes. I'm spending more time than I used to. At some point I will be encapsulated by teh internets.



More later.

I have to admit. This picture is truth.




I get inspired by pictures like this.

Maybe there is a woman out there for me. Who's down with how I am. And the fact that I can't leave my suit or I'll die. Someone who accepts my horrible fishy lungs.

Next week is no Procrastination week. Where I hold myself hostage to my brilliant plan not to put anything off for a week. I need it this next week too.



I have been saying "Reality is perception" a lot lately. I need to start thinking it more than saying it. Thinking you're free when it is simply the illusion of freedom.

I think about perception more and more. Time for some mushrooms, again, I guess.

I'm just glad I found someone that won't leave me feeling like this


When I get nerdy.
Thank heavens for nerdy girls! God I love 'em.


You grew up so cute.

Very Nice weekend

So, nice weekend. Anybody else? Got trashed on Friday nite. Recovered and slept on Sat watch a rifftrax of "Reign of Fire" with Matthew McConoughey and Christian Bale. Bunch-o-dragons. Had a weird nite of too much sleep woke up at five a.m. So I lit a bowl and listened to Bat For Lashes, for the 3 time in 24 hours, and surfed for a while. Went to bed at 7 when the sun was coming up. Felt good.

Finally woke up. Noticed I had both cats on my bed and I knew it would be a good day. That's a good omen round these parts. I dazed around the house for a few hours. Realized I was meeting a ravishing young lady for tea around 3 and got my butt in gear. Sat from 3-8 talking about how horrible the world was and how we try to stay happy while overly informed. Talked about sci-fi, heart break, and robot bodies. One of those moments where you wonder how much more you have in common. Very natural to talk to. If it hadn't been for a hungry and getting cold I could have sat there all nite. Been a long time since that kind of comfortable conversationalist came to my town. I'll keep my eye on this one.



So, I leave this evening having watched Blackula for the first time and realized that he was also the King of Cartoons from Pee Wee's Playhouse. See:

"However, In 1987 Marshall, at the prompting of his grandchildren, took the part of the second King of Cartoons on "Pee Wee's Playhouse." The King of Cartoons was an odd entity on the show. Each week he would be introduced by the cab driver and William Marshal would stumble through the door in a crown and blue velvet blazer with a film projector in tow, and in his big baritone voice he would elegantly boom "LET THE CARTOONS.........BEGIN!" Then a minute and a half of an old bizarre cartoon would be shown, and that was the end of the segment. It never really made a ton of sense, but it sealed Marshall in the hearts and memories of a third generation of television viewers. " Bizzare, I know.

What would I choose to summarize my feelings after this weekend? Gordon Shumway, take it away!

Puppy Punishment

So, for most of Friday, my steering wheel was making a strange noise when I was turning. It was the rubber lining making the sound and not some internal mechanical issue. I'm not talking about a strange as in unfamiliar. Oh no. I knew that sound. It sounded like a puppy being hurt when I turned and alternately sad when the wheel came back to poistion. Can you imagin how sad it is to drive hearing that. I felt like I was torturing a puppy everytime I manuvered my vehicle. It wrenched at the heart. The noise isn't there today.

I had a dream last nite that I was fighting demons and playing putt putt. I wasn't using my club to fight them. Nope. I had a katana that was all cyber-punk and spikey. I was doing pretty good at both Putt-Putt and slaying the evil dark forces. It's a nice change. I'm usually ineffective against creatures in my dreams. I must have leveled up in the dream world.

Oh, yeah, um...I have eye beams now. They are kinda deadly.

More music in my Vaginal Ear

A little summary. You may only like one or two but you'll thank me for it.

No summaries. Too many and I don't wanna take the time. Sorry if your intehnet speed is too slow, ass monkey.

Andrew Bird - "Imitosis"


Apparat - You Don't Know Me


black strobe - Me and Madonna


Blonde Redhead - Top Ranking


Boys Noize - & Down


Charlotte Gainsbourg - The Songs That We Sing


Chromeo - Fancy Footwork


ellen allien and apparat - bubbles


Grizzly Bear - Knife


Guillemots - Trains To Brazil


INGRID MICHAELSON - The Way I Am


Lindstrom - The Contemporary Fix


Modeselektor - Dancing Box


moving units - between us and them


The National - Mistaken For Strangers


New Young Pony Club - Tight Fit


The Presets - Are You The One


Sia - Buttons (ut really, only this song)


Stars Of The Lid - An Autumn Sky


Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Rich (no one told me, sorry)


A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover (i have a vagina)


girl talk - friday night


Hot Chip - Over and Over


Ms John Soda - Hiding/Fading


Stars - Take Me To The Riot

n case you wanted the Movie list I slaved over

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

What I’ve been listening to...

So if anyone cares. Here is a selection of what Max and I have found that cums in our ear pussies!

First, we have The Octopus Project: I saw them last nite and will see them everytime from now on. They are Local!


Then there was the opener, Cue: No videos but here is their site with 4 tracks on it.
http://www.cueaustin.com/mp3s.htm
Then there is Sarah Blasko: Softer Smokey voice with a pop appeal.

Then there is a real cutie, Meiko: How do you not find her adorable and enchanting?

Next, Beirut: This is a guy backed by a various accordions, oboes, ukalales, and sundry. Left high school in Santa Fe with Max and moved to Europe to live with gypsies. Cool kid, I say.

Another instramental band, Battles: an collective of progressive jazz/rock instramentalists. The vocals are odd ans fun.

I don't know much about, Dntel: Abstract noises for beats with guest vocalists.

More female stuff for me to be a vagina about, Feist: Apparently I should have already known about her. Thanks a lot guys.

A little electro/Bass fun with, Justice: warm base and well conceived beats.

Softly it rocks you to sleep, Kwoon: Nice voice and the whole album pulls you along a dreamscape of cloudy love. Nice for the quite sessions.

Love me or Hate me it's, Lady Sovereign: Poppy Hip-Hop done by a short cockney white chic. Too much fun:

I think he uses Fruit Loops, Mojib. Mixing up some crazy songs together.

Crazy soft hearted Icelanders, Mum: They have quirky playful songs that make me smile.

All girls and pleanty of strings, Rasputina: They aren't new but worth mentioning as I just got a lot of new stuff in on them.

Closer to the end is another british lovely, Kate Nash: fun with a little pop but some good production.

Instrumental funk oddety, Black Moth Super Rainbow: Fun and a cute sound board operator.

Old school favorite of mone, Aesop Rock: new album and Jeremy Fish helps with the video!

That's all for now. I'll throw more in later.

Assassassassin!

So. There is a new assassin in my midst. He is stealthy, brutal, and attacks at 5am. He goes by the name Brack Rightening. His real name is Bucky. Adorable? Yes. Misunderstood? No. Sweet when it suits his agenda? Always. I love this new guy and he is giving Jinx a hell of a time. So, if you haven't met this little bastard yet, let me know. He will woo you and then take you down. Ladies and Gentlebeasts...
Bucky!

2 things

Two things that I'm missing right now. Granted, these are not the only things I'm missing but these are what came to mind and I felt like publisizing, dammit!

First, the scent of a woman in a very non-Al Pachino type sence. I'm missing the soft scent of a woman as I hold her to me when I fall asleep. Very much so. I broke up with a girl once partially because I hated her perfume and she liked to pile it on before we met. Sorry, Stephanie, but it's true. You were also a bad lay, but honestly that was the last straw not part of the initial load.

Second thing I'm missing is a blowjob. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean any ol' blowjob. I have made the statement before that I would rather have no blowjob than a bad blowjob and I still stand by my words. I mean a decent to great blowjob. Yes, there is a difference ladies. If you close your eyes make a sour face and bob your head on the end of my penis you are not giving me a blowjob. What you are giving me is frustration. If you don't want to do it. Don't. I may have gone down on you for the last 20 minutes and if that doesn't em-passion you to want to please me back then please don't. I will warn you that if you don't you won't be a long lived lover of mine, though. I want all of you in the bed not a partial giving or a duty to be fullfiled.

While I'm on the subject. Ladies, I do not have sex very frequently now a days, which is my own problem, but when and if I ever have sex again, please last more than 45 minutes. The last few sexual experiences I've had last that long max and I'm left hanging. Honestly, let's try to perpetuate the myth that men come before women. I don't have sex often please make it worth it. Maybe that's why I don't have sex more often. Is it because I know it only lasts for a nite or two and you women can't keep up? 60% of my partners just haven't known what they're doing. Ladies, let's pick up the pace and show your worth the effort.

Yeah, that was more than two things but you read this far now didn't you?

Cammie

can't sleep, things swirl, the start of Tyler(?)

So, I tried to lay down just down just now but no dice. Can't sleep. Which isn't surprising. Lately 4 out of 7 nites I have to put myself down to go to bed. Too much energy. I can't believe I have this sort of issue. I was trying to sleep just now. Things started swirling. I started thinking about Ashley, the last woman to share my bed, and how I ran into her just before a blind date recently. She and I connected for about a week and then I got a brush off. Regardless of the reasons why the main reason is I liked her and when I like 'em they vanish. I was walking out of Dell on Friday and I smelled a scent that was pure Michelle, back when we first started living together. That was so bittersweet. I really miss connecting with someone on a different level that involves intimacy. Granted, I love sex and seem to do rather well at it, but I'm talking about the afterglow. The everything that comes with it. Waking up in bed together, someone who gives you random hugs, grabs my ass in public, argues with me when I'm wrong, makes me want to improve myself to look better in their eyes. It always seems to follow with pain when I find it but at some point it won't and that's where I stop. To quote Fiona Apple on this one, "This is not about love. Cause I am not in love. As a matter of fact I can't keep from falling out. I miss that stupid ache." I love intimacy but shy from the initial stages due to fear of rejection. I wish I was more confident but most of my friends will attest that I am far better than when they first met me. I'm a late bloomer, like my pal Charlie says. I keep thinking about Ashley and how much we clicked and how sweet things seemed for that week. I want that back but I fall flat on my face every direction I turn. I get propositioned by those I'm uninterested in. I say I want to get "Laid" but I don't want a one nite thing. I'm looking for a steady that can make me feel that stupid ache, again. I'm getting ready to make some big bucks a Dell, I'm getting a new car, I love my Apt, but in the end the only thing that really makes me feel whole is that human connection. Because I'm co-dependant at heart and nothing will ever change that about me. I can camouflage it with anime, movies, graphic novels, alcohol, and weed. But... in the end I still just want someone to hold me and tell me I'm worth it. Sad or not. That is what is sitting at the bottom of Cameron, folks. Happy, bitter, excited, pensive, argumentative...It all boils down to : Cameron is waiting for someone. and waiting . . .

Plugged in again.

So. I'm live and online again. I didn't think it would change my behavior that much but ther shiny newness is dazzeling my eyes. I haven't had my own computer or internet connection in about 2 years. So I have lost touch with about everuything on the net. Like; what people use to download things, what chat programs are being used, who's hot or not, and all of my profiles are pretty out of date. I'm tring to start getting outside and around town lake again. I won a computer and an Mp3 player form Dell. Can't say they never did me right working for them. I'd like to go check out some shows again down town and inject a bit of spontinaety[sp] back into my life. Some one drag me out side from time to time please. Too many series, books, comics, and movies to consume and I want them all at once. I still want to go drunken' Putt-Putting soon.

Whisky and Only Me

I am finding that alot of my friends are alot more elusive than they used to be. Finished a whole bottle of whisky by myself this week. No one to drink it with. Had one date this week that bombed. She made me order the food at Casino and go pick it up at the window without offering to help. Sorry princess, I don't play that way. She then proceeded to cross herself and say a brief prayer before she ate. Houston we have a disaster. We chatted for about 4 hours and I didn't lose interest, but I think that might be because I never had alot to begin with. She was a bigger girl than I was prepared for. I won the burger duel! Casino reigns supreme! I really miss that female presence in my life and as my boy Ivan says, "You need to get laid boy. You'll feel beter after that." I love ya Ivan but it ain't as easy for me. I am also enjoying those moments where I do everything I please without fear of judgement in my own apt. I am developing myself more and more and defining more of who I am. At the same time I wonder if not having someone really close to me might be keeping me from opening my mind to new things. I think Sean Connery said it best in 'Playing By Heart'. "I needed to be reminded of why you loved me. In a sense, I needed to fall in love with myself again, so that I could love you more." I'm just starting to feel isolated and like a secondary though fro most of my friends. Hey guys...I miss you...I'm still here. Of course, now that I've written this, I'm sure I'll be feeling differently in about a week. I still love staying up till 3 a.m. with a glass of whisky, a joint, and a Marx Bros. flick on my own.

Lilies of fatigue

Sweet Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo stick I'm tired. I am working three jobs this week and on Mon. and Tue. I was working them all on the same day which was hecktick to say the least. I need to get more rest right now but some one has been staying over and I can't go to sleep so easly any more. Amplifier.com is an awesome job but it is only gonna last for another 2 weeks so I have to start applying at the capitol again. Damn It to hell!!! Right now I'm sitting at a computer in the apmlifier warehouse while they try and find something for me to do today. Maybe they will send me home so I can get some more sleep. Wish me luck. I'll report back when life allows me more energy. I worked my first night in over a year at Amy's last night and had fun with my boy Navi. He and I need to talk soon, though.

Connect Four! I win!

So I am officially leaving the fuck of an annoying job, ZEN, and returning to my first love in Austin! I am an Amy's Kid again! See me on the weekend nites at SoCo for some cream in the face! I got the job at and will start there on Friday. This is the part time job that will hopefully lead to a full time position come summer time. Played Drunken Putt-Putt with Macy, E, Max, and Honey Homicide(who was there to watch) last Friday. Man I got trashed and no one won because we played aggressive putt-putt like your mom gets aggressive with the cucumber. Going to Lyrics Borne and RJD2 tonight with Emily. Wonder if this could be called a date or we is just on the friendly side. She is a really friendly girl so I shall assume it is as friends until otherwise notified. She is a cool person either way. My brain is short circuiting lately. In ways that makes me act wierd in private. I get all Tourets-y and start yelling wierd stuff in the car and appartment. I would actually like to pop those out in public more often. My left nip is almost healed up and it is about time for my next tattoo. This will be the one of Texas. I really need a schlitz. Love ya Macy, thanks for reading these and making me feel ultra-cool/super fly. Now fuck off Jewcifer!

Fluffy Wrath!

I could start off by saying how sorry I am for blowing up Cuba yesterday but I think that goes without saying. I mean was anyone really using Cuba? I mean really. If one more person asks me to blow something up with my new found "Explodie Powers" I think I'll blow up Paraguay next. Then I'll move on to anything starting with the letter 't'. That will take a while but I'm prepared for the fame. I had to kill my co-worker Colin last night after we had a badass shift on First Thurs. @ Zen. Amy's SoCo Manager Sara is going to ask me back to Amy's next week and I will be the coolest guy ever again. I can't wait to get back to the boards. With that and Zen I should be able to make ends meet a lot better till I get a better part time job and drop Zen. People are walking down the aisle to get diplomas today and I'm only 9 hours away from completing my goal as well. I'll cross my testies and hope for the best. I will be playing drunken Putt-Putt this evening with a crew and I think this will be fun. If not I'll blow something else up that looks like Robert Logia. I can't wait for Lyrics Borne on Tue. Aye!

That isn't cheese!

SO I got a hair cut in effort to look a little prettier for Emily, the girl who is far too cute to be interested in me and may very well not be, and met her and her friend Bob at the Continental. Toni Price happens every Tues. there and I have worked on SoCo for 2 years and not been, so I went. After I fought off a swarm of killer bees with my mental powers and snagged a 1-up token at Zen I met them over there. Bob was really tall so instead of doing the normal thing of defensively ignoring him and only talking to Emily I went the other way and chatted with him first to be friendly. If he was to be the chapperone or judge of whether or not I was cool enough then I was going to take on the challenge. At some random point after break, where I pleasantly found out Emily smokes a-bit, they decided to try and get as drunk as Toni Price is and so, being the good sport that I am I joined in. Bob dropped out when he realized he was going to have to be "The Designated" for the evening while I kept the New castles coming and Emily ended up with about 5 jack and cokes. I was fine and ready to roll on after the show, which was a fun evening I might add, she said her goodbyes to me and said she was feeling a bit green. Bob took over as care-taker at that point and I strted to walk off when I noticed she was heading for the bushes instead of the car. I figured that I was out of the picture now and she wouldn't want me to see her puke anyway, so I walked on like I saw nothing. Bob was "Care-Taker 3000 The Man from the Future" at that point and they were better friends so I don't think it was rude of me to go on home. Met Max at Zen as he finished closing and we went back to my place to bounce on the trampolene I keep in my closet and smoke while watching "Lone Wolf and Cub". All and All I say a good evening and a sucessful second encounter with The Emily. Cute girl at Texadelphia told me her name yesterday, too. Haven't met a Sandra in a while if ever. Cute but she wears a cross and I am a vampire in that way. Ah well. I love the ladies but they only kinda-lika me.

Bull Pains

So if you see me hobbling around Austin this week then you have plenty of reason to laugh. Last Frday I went to Mex with my dad and after too many beers in one sitting we decided I needed to ride the Mechanical bull at the cowboy bar across the street. The place was half full and we ordered more drinks to be smart. I drank half of my beer before deciding it was my time. Got up there and remembered I needed to grip with my legs as well as my hand. I put in a good 15 second ride before the ride operator got pissed off at the skinny gringo and bucked me off. I waited to do my next ride for two reasons. One, I needed to let the rife operator forget about me for a bit or I wouldn't last 5 seconds the next time and two, because I needed another beer. 15 minutes go by and some LSU students help the bull operator to forget I can ride. I jump back on to a good ten seconds ride before I start getting tossed off to the side. But I wasn't done yet so I hung on to the side of the bull for 3-4 seconds before I right myself back on top. and clocked in another 8 seconds before slipping off the side again and pushing off horazontally. Well little did I know that I don't use my groin muscles that often and that I have damaged myself. I know have inflammed groin muscles and I fear I might have pulled both of them as the pain gets worse instead of better. I am almost limping now as is. Any one have any ideas on how to make it hurt less? Thanksgiving was good and I got to hang out with Atticus when I got back on Saturday and I really miss that kid. Back to school with a renewed vigor, I hope. Hope I don't have to amputate something because of my bull riding capabilities.

Flying over a pie

I sit here writing at almost 4 in the morning for a few reasons. One because I'm home and can't fall asleep in my o0wn room anymore because it isn't my room. Two, my flights home were delayed due to thunder storms and I spent 5 hours in the crappy houston airport. I won't dignify houston with capitol letters. I have too much cock on the brain from reading, only, "A Mind Of Its Own: The Cultural history of the penis". I'm not sure if the 5 hour wait was worth it for the spectacular view the first flight afforded me. I don't usually fly at night, nor do I do it on a an almost full moon. I took the time to record my thoughts in my sketch book for lack of a better option.

"So here I sit flying at 7pm from Austin to houston, later to Harlingen, as my plane does long drunken swerves around thunder storms. The sky looks like I'm flying over a giant marangue pie. (spent a bit contemplating the spelling of that in my head, but to no avail) Flashes of lightning make the sky twinkle like an X-mas tree they are so frequent. I gaze (yeah, I said gaze) out my window and see these billious clouds as they take on shapes of Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots and imagine a wonderful samurai battle that could occur here with the right director and cinematographer. Meanwhile, the woman beside me has pulled out here portable Polaroid DVD player for the specific reason of watching "9 Months", you know the Hugh Grant thing. Who actually watches that movie a second time? Who says, "I'll take along '9 Months' for the trip. Ooo...and 'A Walk in The Clouds' too."? She does! Every once in a while you see a steak of lightning arching across the sky below me playing leap frog with the clouds. I looved clouds as a kid and my first realization that the mystical and magical may not exist came from them. I was still in the single digits, age-wise, when an asshole pilot, without regard for a child's fantasies, flew through one. I always thought they were more solid than that, I watched 'Care Bears' for poop's sake! After that I did a paper on Houdini and read some books that explained his magic tricks and lost all belief in magic. To this day you should never sit next to me at a magic show because I'll ruin it for you. I still have my imagination in tact but no more magical/mystical beliefs for moi.. houston approaches and the clouds depart."

I slept through the encore lightning performance on the second flight. It was meeger. Home now and drinking my emergency flask of "Makers" already so that I can sleep. Wish I had a 'J' to celebrate 4:20am but instead I shall drink myself into a stupor or as far as my flask shall get me. See ya kids! Feliz Dia De Jajalote!

Blind in the Left Eye

So yesterday almost worked. Two friends got detained by work for an extra hour so they didn't make it to Dim Sum but Georgio did and he was fully appreciatory of the eating experience that he...experienced. The food was great as always, maybe even a bit better when you go with new people, and there was a new item that was good. A chicken pot pie with curried chicken in it. Oooo that was a goodun'! So not many people at Dim Sum but it was still delisssssiousss. Meanwhile, back at the lab, I went home to commence with my long day of sake and samurai movies. Started off with "Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart To Hades" That was a winner and Ivan and Anna came over for the last hour of that and then left. Next was "Sakuya: Slayer of Demons" which had a lot of cool evil things and blue flames came out when they got cut, Woo! Dallas and his old ass friend came over and brought beer and I was all giggly until I wet myself...then I was sad. I was hitting that "I've been drinking for 4 hours" lull when, knock at the door, Alex, Sean, and Sky all appear. I fought I giant Gila Monster with a spoon and stuffed in my storage closet on my porch to play canasta with my Uncle Larry. Then, I layed down a personal favorite of mine, "Versus". This film has zombies, yakuza, Samurai, and some vampirism. Not only that but a sense of humor and great action directing. Kati showed up for the last half of that and hung out till one after everyone else left. Finished off the entire giant bottle sake mostly on my own but with some help from loyal friends. Kati says she will make me a Gir tool to clean out my bowl and that sounds pretty cool and I think she is keen, too, but I am confused as to why she has just 'started' kinda hanging out after only running into her a few times at clubs. She give good shoulder rubs though. Maybe I will get this job that I interviewed with @ amplifier.com That would be swell because I could get a career out of it I betcha.

Owch!Owch!Owch!

Owch! My left Tit is Mutilated! So this was by far the worst pain I've ever felt during a piercing. Last night I had my left nip re-pierced to match the right. God damn! I let the man talk me into getting it done with a 12 gage instead of the 14 I got last time. He had the clamps on my titty so tight I couldn't even get all hot over it. And to tell you the truth, I think there was some scar tissue to be delt with and that is why it went in good but didn't want to go out the otherside so easily. That was such a big damn needle. I almost Blacked out about 3 minutes after he did it from the stress release and the room got real hot from the realease of my body Heeeeat cuz I'm a furnace. I kinda hunchedbacked my way home before going out to a depressing nite of drinking alone again. Why do I punish myself But now I can say I had a Norwegian Man named Gurt savage my left titty for money! Also I am trying out Samurai Sundays to see if it works out. We'll see.